Reported the item as arriving "smashed to pieces" and requested a full refund *and* a replacement, all while quietly keeping hold of the apparently obliterated original. Asked politely for photos for the incident report. None materialised. The item, fully intact, later turned up for resale online — a remarkable recovery for something we were told no longer existed.
Screamed at a driver through the intercom over being "eleven minutes late," inside a two-hour delivery window the driver was, by any honest measure, comfortably within. The driver described it as the least two-hour-window-respecting eleven minutes of his career.
Signed for the parcel himself. Personally. In his own handwriting. Filed an "item never received" claim a week later. The signature on file and the name on the claim were, extraordinarily, the same person.
Ordered same-day delivery on a bank holiday weekend, and when it arrived the next working day — exactly as stated at checkout, in writing, in a font he presumably scrolled straight past — left one-star reviews on three separate platforms. Dedication, if nothing else.